Parents do not always have the same parenting style or do not exhibit the same parenting behavior all the time. It is possible one parent may favor one style over the others, while the other parent favors a different style that may clash with his or her spouse.

According to an MSNBC interview with experts, men and women differ in parenting styles because of the differences in their responses towards their children’s behavior. Stereotypically, women likely show an authoritative parenting style, while men polarize towards two opposing directions: permissiveness and authoritarian.

In a family wherein both parents work, responsibilities in caring for the child falls heavily on the mother although the women expect the fathers to do their share in the feeding, clothing and bathing of children. When it comes to discipline and decision making, both genders show different responses towards their children.

Men generally feel that children should be left on their own when playing and exploring the world around them, but are actively involved in making decisions for and disciplining their children. Women naturally fret and worry. They show intense protectiveness and care for their children, and yet, are often lenient when it comes to disciplining. They often vacillate between permissiveness and authoritative parenting.

These differences in parenting behavior often lead to disagreements in parenting decisions. Parental conflict over the children’s welfare produces unnecessary stress between spouses and with the children. To resolve this conflict, both parents should practice the following general parenting tips:

1. Parents have to stay tuned into each other and have open communication.
2. Parenting conflict stresses the kids.
3. Parental conflict stresses your marriage.
4. Children learn to manipulate parents. If parents do not side together, then the kids will definitely figure out how to play one parent over the next. It is the classic, “Daddy said I could do this,” line.

Originally, there were three prototypes of parenting styles as described by Diana Baumrind in 1966. She described each parenting style – Authoritative, Authoritarian and Permissive – in her most cited paper, Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior, which was published in 1967.

According to the site DevPsy.org, each parenting style produced certain common qualities in children exposed to the same dominant parental behavior. The following lists those qualities under each parenting style:

Authoritative Parenting

• lively and happy disposition
• self-confident about ability to master tasks.
• well developed emotion regulation
• developed social skills
• less rigid about gender-typed traits (exp: sensitivity in boys and independence in girls)

Authoritarian Parenting

• anxious, withdrawn, and unhappy disposition
• poor reactions to frustration (girls are particularly likely to give up and boys become especially hostile)
• do well in school (studies may show authoritative parenting is comparable)
• not likely to engage in antisocial activities (exp: drug and alcohol abuse, vandalism, gangs)

Permissive Parenting

• poor emotion regulation (under regulated)
• rebellious and defiant when desires are challenged.
• low persistence to challenging tasks
• antisocial behaviors

As always, the developmental psychologists believed in the effectiveness of the Authoritative parenting style over the other two in bringing up healthy and happy adolescents.

Do you wonder what your parenting style is? Is it a healthy mix of Authoritarian and Permissive? Is it Active Parenting? Find out by taking this short quiz at ActiveParenting.com.

Knowing and understanding your parenting style can help you become a better parent to your children. It will also help you understand your teen’s behavior, and what steps you can take to change it for a positive outcome.

Note: The quiz may not be as accurate as you might expect. The results are actually an approximate of what your dominant parenting style might be. All parents use a mix of one or two parenting styles, depending on the situation.

Although most research done by developmental experts points to authoritative or active parenting as the best parenting style that produce the most positive outcomes in adolescent development, there are still many factors that contribute to these outcomes.

Parenting behavior should be consistent; however, not everyone can be patient and understanding all the time. Parenting behavior may be influenced by mood, lack of sleep, stress and illness. However, one parenting style typically dominates parenting behavior.

On one hand, parenting behavior may be influenced by adolescent characteristics, such as personality and temperament. An uncooperative, immature and irresponsible teen may push some parents to change parenting styles from active or permissive to authoritarian.

Still, many teens who grew up in a loving family with mentally and emotionally healthy siblings turn out to be the family’s “black sheep” or the sole “bad apple” among the lot. Children in the same family exposed to the same parenting style grow up into different individuals with different life paths. In these cases, therapists and counselors do not look into family as the source of the adolescent’s self-destructive behavior.

The three previous articles identified three of the four patterns of parenting styles, which produce mostly negative behavior in your teen. The last pattern is what experts refer to as Active Parenting, which they also refer to as Authoritative Parenting. This pattern is very different from Authoritarian, although it has degrees of Authoritarian and Permissiveness combined.

Active Parenting displays a good mix of parental warmth and control. Active parents show affection and caring as well as firmness and authority in implementing the rules and making decisions. Active parents take the time to listen to their teen and encourage a healthy and meaningful discussion.

Research into family issues and education showed positive results from an Active Parenting style. Teens raised by Active parents learn to respect authority figure and follow rules while maintaining an independent mind and a self-confident view of the world and of others. They learn to negotiate and engage in discussions and to value the opinions of others, which help them become socially competent, responsible and autonomous.