- Image by asiabruin via Flickr
Parents often complain of their problems in raising their teenagers, including the gaps in communication and the loss of rapport with their children. The gap between the two generations may be a big factor. Differences in ideas and generational beliefs exist.
Another larger contributor could be the emotional loss parents feel when their teens try to distance themselves from them. In their desire for recognition as young adults, teens separate their persona from the parents, and form their own identities using other teens as basis.
To bridge the gap caused by generational differences, parents and teenagers need to learn how to communicate without alienating each other. For parents, communication is the key to understanding their so-called “problem teens.”
Arguments often result to power struggles between parents and children. These arguments leave parents feeling the need to be right and in control. Their defiant teenagers start feeling left out, ignored and disregarded.
As a result, the relationship between parent and teenager suffers. One way to avoid this is for the parent to remove himself from the power struggle, and instead, become involved in a constructive dialogue with their teen.
To help improve communication and rapport, here are some essential tips from Hodu:
• Ask open-ended questions without interrogating. Being interrogating puts your teenager in a defensive position, be sure to share information to keep the mood open and light.
• Invite feedback and let your teen know that discussions are open as long as input is given respectfully, although as an adult you retain the right to make the final decisions.
• Keep your sense of humor. Being able to laugh will at least help put down your teen’s defenses.
• Forgive easily.
• Never give up. If at first you fail to reach out to your teen, do not fret; teenagers are not easy to get along with every day.
• Show affection in other ways. If words fail you, there are other ways to communicate. The close a connection your teen feels with you, the better your relationship will be.
Parents of teens and ‘tweens should try these tips and see how they change the relationship they have with their children. Starting early before your teens step into adolescence help mold how they react to your parenting style. This also allows you to change tactics when you see your teens showing signs of resistance.
