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Sending your troubled teenager to military boarding school is not enough. Along with the therapy your defiant teen gets, you as a parent should also actively participate in helping your problem teenager reform. Active parents do not wash their hands off their problem child; they do not leave the guiding and counseling to the counselor or therapist.
An active parent means taking action immediately when you see your child showing behavior that seems extreme even for adolescents. It means you should not wait for your teen to ask for help. You should also avoid making excuses for your teen’s “unruly” behavior.
TroubledTeensInfo.com provides some example of how an active parent behaves towards their teenage children:
- An active parent would not just let a teen’s counselor take care of all the therapy. The parent would speak to the teen’s counselor and keep an open line of communication between them.
- An active parent would not wait for a teenager to ask for help, but offer it.
- An active parent would not just wait for a teenager to ask questions, but the parent may ask a teen about anything he/she may want to know or talk about.
- An active parent says to a teenager – I am here.
- An active parent is not too busy with work to ask a teen how his/her day went after school.
- An active parent asks a question and takes the time to listen attentively to the answer.
- An active parent puts time apart to have fun with a teenager.
- An active parent gets to know a teenager.
- An active parent takes the time to know with whom your teenager hangs out with.
- An active parent monitors the medication of a teenager, noting his/her feelings after the dose, as well as possible side effects observed.
Most important of all, an active parent does not compare their problem teen’s behavior with the behavior of other teens or even their other children. Each child is unique and some develop eccentricities that many people may not understand. Your job as an active parent is to see through these personality differences and see whether your teen is at risk for destructive behaviors, such as suicide, depression and substance abuse.
